“I’m Not Sick… But I Have Thyroid Cancer”

 “Why are you sick? I’m not sick…”

I overheard a middle-aged woman talking on the bus.
Normally, it would’ve been just another passing sentence.

But her voice stayed with me all day.

Was it envy?
Was I jealous because I have thyroid cancer?

It’s been almost a month since I was diagnosed,
and I still haven’t told my parents.

Even after visiting two major hospitals,
my older sister and I kept it a secret.

While I was out for a walk, I noticed a missed call from the hospital.
I had been waiting for the results of my third fine needle biopsy,
so I wondered what it could be.

“Would it be okay to move your surgery date earlier?”
the nurse asked for my opinion.

“So… I guess I do need surgery?”

The hospital’s attitude had slightly changed.
Before, they said they would decide on further tests or surgery
depending on the biopsy results.

Strangely, I felt relieved.
I’ll know for sure when I visit the hospital this week,
but the surgery now seems confirmed.

I still haven’t told my parents.
I don’t even know how to begin.
All I can think about is how worried they’ll be.

My mom has already told me several times
to quit my contract job at the Coupang warehouse.
Now that I’ve been diagnosed with thyroid cancer,
she’ll probably insist on it even more.

Compared to other cancers, thyroid cancer has a good prognosis.
After treatment, many people return to their normal lives.

I’m already on a two-month medical leave
due to a previous Mammotome procedure.
This diagnosis was completely unexpected.
Going back to work in May might not be possible anymore.

My surgery has been moved up.

I still haven’t told my parents.
I haven’t told my boyfriend either.

Thyroid cancer has no symptoms.
None at all—so much so that it feels unreal.
If I don’t say anything, no one would ever know.

And yet, I feel both guilty and selfish for keeping this to myself.

What should I do?

My surgery has been moved up.